Message of a Hurting Heart

A thought from a brokenhearted girl....

I never dreamed of a man who will just hurt me.  Its okay if he will make me cry but then will wipe my tears away and will never make it again or will never be the reason why I’ll cry.

All I want is a man who will always be by my side. A man who is always be there listening to my thoughts and stories whether they are senseless or worth listening for. I want a man who will share his dreams with me, who cries and laughs with me and commits that he will never forget to inform me where he is and what he is doing every day. A man who will never let a day passed that I am mad at him.

 That’s all I want! Is that so high that the man I love can’t give that?

Am I dreaming so high and demanding for a very impossible thing?

I don’t want to be taken for granted because when I love, I give my all. I sacrifice everything just to be with him and let him feel that I am worth loving for. Yes, I fight for love. But is it really worth fighting for when he never tried to win the battle with me?

I can’t help my tears from falling when I am currently writing this. I wanted to lighten up my burden so I write my heart out but every time I thought of what he was just doing to me, my heart is breaking into pieces all over again and my eyes are blurring.

I remember what he used to be for the last few years and I can’t stop comparing what he was before and how he is today.

I wished to go back at those times when he never made me feel this way. Those times when he just always makes me happy, makes me feel so special, never leave my side, protecting me and caring me so tender. And most of all, treating me like a precious gem.

But now, those times were all gone. The man I used to know is now a stranger to me.

Those dreams and future plans were already gone for good. And lesson that every woman like me who loves truly must learn is that never give all your love to someone. Though it will make you happy, learn to save for yourself so that if times like this will come, we will be able to stand up, move on and start a new life again but this time without those people who hurt us so bad.

Life is not perfect but it’s not bad to dream of a perfect love. And my perfect love is just that one man will never leave my side despite of all the ugliness and struggles that life offers us.

I don’t need a man who just remembers me when he needs something from me. I wasn’t born just to be taken for granted, just to be as options while me, he’s one of my priorities, and to be ignored, but I am living this world to be loved wholeheartedly.

I can live freely but I chose to share my life with someone whom worth sharing for. All I want is to be happy, with a better half who will always love me despite of my flaws.

I never demand for a very perfect or super ideal guy. All I ever wanted was a man who has dreams for us, accepts me and my whole, and most of all he will see God in me.

I never thought that my time would be wasted with someone who truly not deserves me. I just pray that the right one for me is just around waiting for me to recognize him. That he will make me realized that I was just so busy entertaining the wrong one and he was only at my side and never leaves me.

I love so I’m hurt.

-LaiN-