THE UNHEARD VOICES OF THE ABUSED

March 21, 2019

I know that most of the recent blog posts here were for my travel updates but please bare with me to talk about a sensitive  topic.

I thought of this countless times if I should write about this topic and publish it or not. I had a lot of contemplation because  it wasn't clear of the things that I can do to somehow do something about this.

But I have to write. I need to be heard out. I want to be the voice of the unheard.

So here's the story. 

Last Saturday night, I wasn’t able to sleep well because  of a  certain Facebook Post that caught my attention.

It’s about  a confession that he or she was sexually abused. The most intriguing  part  was there were more than 40,000 comments for that  single post. And when I ran through it, most of the commenters were telling their nightmares. They were all abused and raped. There  were men or gays that were sexually  abused but most of them are girls.

What hurts me the most was knowing that most of the abusers  are the victims’ fathers, uncles, grandfathers, older brothers, step fathers, male cousins and even guy friends that they trusted!

All the while, I thought  that most rapists are those who are strangers to the victims, on high, drank or maniacs. But surprisingly, they are just the victims’ closest male encounters such as their family, friends or relatives.

What  is happening to my country?

It also hit me hard when those thousands of commenters or victims are facing their rapists every day!

And the abuses are happening a lot of times, keeps on repeating and even most of the victims are already counting years!

Some even experienced  the  abuse when they were just four years old!

I  felt their pains, struggles and silent cries even in just through reading their posts.

It was also very disappointing knowing that  most of them who told their parents about the abuse they experienced only disregard their griefs. Victims were even called as liars and treated like a hook up girl. They were unjustly judged and blamed. They are crashed and yet people chose to turn a blind eye on them. They were already down but because of our society and people whom they  think they can rely on, it felt like they were buried alive more than  six feet under.

I thought that rape cases are rare but  in real life, it isn’t and ironically, it is a norm!

Personally, I also experienced a man’s evil act. Few years back, I rode a jeepney going to meet a friend. I chose to sit  in front beside the driver.

I was really comfortable back then wearing short shorts and t-shirts as my normal clothes on weekends and even on hanging out with friends.

This evil driver touched my right leg a lot of times. I hardly tried to avoid his hand but he’s still persistent. I also tried to barred his hand using my arms. I couldn’t  speak up during that time and I was just internally screaming to myself that it was all my fault because I chose to sit in front and I was wearing a short shorts.

There’s also this  scenario I experienced when I was just eighteen when a pervert jeepney driver again held his private part while driving. I was on his back and he was maniacally looking at me through the mirror.

There’s more horrible stories I encountered but was afraid to share to other people because of the fear to be misjudged.

So I can really feel the agony of these voiceless girls as I am one of them. We have our voiceless screams.

What these girls can only do was to comment and share their stories using a dummy Facebook account to maybe somehow lighten the burden they were carrying for such a long time.

I stopped reading that dark and painful comment section not because of swollen eyes but due to my breaking fragile heart.

And then I asked myself. “What can I do for them – for these unheard voices, for OUR silent  battles waiting to be hear out?”

I closed my eyes at 4 in the morning and still, that question to myself never got an answer.

Until the following day, somehow there’s a way that was popped out, in order for me to reach out.

I shared this agony to a friend of mine and she could relate.

She told me that some of her students (she’s a teacher by the way) also confessed to her that they were raped or sexually abused. It’s not a new thing for her anymore. She’s a Psychology major and it’s a great advantage  that she’s able to handle a situation or confession like this. She knows how to react for the victims telling her their horrible stories and pain.

But for me who has no background with  advising or Psychology is  really clueless.

What  can I do to somehow lessen the  burden of the victims?

What can I do to stop this unfairly treatment to women?

 My friend then told me to comment on that post, ask the girls of what can I do for them.

I’m not sure if it would work. Besides, most of the time, I am an introvert. I am scared to talk to people whom I don’t personally know yet.

So  I scratched out that idea.

She then asked me if where do I excel? And she knows the answer of course.

And it is Writing. I should write about this and share it  to the world.

So this is what I  am doing right now.  

I am telling the whole world that RAPE and other forms of SEXUAL ABUSE will never be a right thing to do to any girl or boy.

It will never be OKAY. Only  an evil and uneducated man will think that  way.

We know that SEX is really a human need but please never ever do it to an unwilling, innocent, weak, drank, drugged girls!

PLEASE BE HUMAN. ACT LIKE A HUMAN. And human knows to think rightfully.

If you don’t consider yourself as a human, then make your  own way down to your own grave. Sleep there peacefully. Please.

And to all the ladies or men who have horrible stories of abuse to tell, please know  that  you  are not alone on your  battle.

You may not find the comfort on your own home, family or friends but please  be noted that there are generous and kindhearted souls of strangers who are more  than willing to listen to you.

Find your channel for your voice to be heard.

Don’t give up on life.

There will always be two sides  of these earth. The bad one that we need to step out  and move on from. And there’s the good one that we can still live on.  Always choose the bright side, look for the silver lining, hope for the positivity, pray. Everything’s gonna be alright. We  are all in this fight together!

 I am also thinking of creating a program or even an app, or page or website wherein abused women and men can have  their voices to be heard. There will also be people whom they can freely talk to about their rants, struggles, grief and pain.

Sometimes, we can also find comfort in the hands of strangers aka The Good Samaritan who can generously share their time to just listen to us.

Share your stories, comments and suggestions to me.  We  have the voice and a stronger voice when we’re together.

 E-mail me at cieloamet@gmail.com